The Compulsory Muggle Studies Class
by WynterRavenheart
Summary: Voldemort's dead and now every magical child not raised by a muggle or with muggle roots had to attend the Muggle Studies Class. Hermione, followed by a weird sense of duty, enrols both herself, Ron and Harry in those classes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** You can all thank this story to Kamerreon's Yahoo group! Rye came up with the wonderful idea and I couldn't help but comply! This will be a series, so if you're interested just send me a pairing and a prompt, something like this: (Muggleborn or muggle raised + pureblood) and the scene you'd like to see unfold! Just to remind you all, I still refuse to have anything to do with Drarry pairings, so don't even try!

**Title:** The Compulsory Muggle Studies Class

**Chapter:** 01 – Episode IV, an old dilemma.

**Warnings:** Some slash, some Femslash, some disturbing content due to a fertile mind.

**Summary:** Voldemort's dead and now every magical child not raised by a muggle or with muggle roots had to attend the Muggle Studies Class. Hermione, followed by a weird sense of duty, enrols both herself, Ron and Harry in those classes.

**Episode IV – An Old Dilemma!**

Charity Burbage smiled to herself as she walked to her classroom. Her bill had finally been approved! A bill that had all wizards without a muggle or muggleborn parent, learn the muggle ways so they could blend easier in the outside world, mostly were purebloods with the odd exception of a half-blood here and there.

Of course, it did help that Dumbledore supported the bill. It helped even more that the headmaster had regained credibility after You-know-who's attack at the start of the year. The icing on the proverbial cake however, was that the Dark Lord had been defeated by Dumbledore, his secret Order and a couple of 5th year students on an errant to the Ministry of Magic.

It amused her to no end to know that Potter and Granger, two muggle raised students, had improvised a lot during the battle and rounded up a few Death Eater with fake lightsabers. She still snickered as she remembered Albus putting his memory on display for the whole faculty, wondering what the two fifth years had done.

She had never laughed so hard, and she had never heard Snape laugh like that.

Schooling her features the opened her classroom door to greet the fifth years, she noted that the Potter lad was sitting next to Mr. Nott and that Ms. Granger was frowning sitting next to a scowling Ms. Parkinson, Mr. Malfoy was at the other end of the classroom, with a muggleborn Hufflepuff. Ah well, she wouldn't change their arrangements. She started with a 'good afternoon' before starting with practical lessons.

Harry stared ahead, resisting the urge to childishly pull Hermione's hair in retaliation. It was her fault for dragging him here, to a class he already knew all the bloody material! All to help the 'poor ignorant purebloods,' her words, not his.

For a change they had sat at different tables, with Hermione in front of him and Harry at the back. 'To leave room for people who would benefit from our knowledge Harry!' she had said, it was just his bloody luck that instead of some random Ravenclaw, he got the Slytherin Emperor, Theodore Nott.

Everyone knew Malfoy was the pampered prince of Slytherin, whining and getting his way most of the time, but the true power was with the only child from one Voldemort's most feared Death Eaters, Theodore Nott the Second.

Harry could only try and make himself invisible as he stared at the professor, half-listening to her talk about one of the films in the '10 most watched films'. He sighed, already bored, they were probably going to see Gone With the Wind and Harry privately though watching once with Hermione was more than enough. He loved her to death, but he couldn't stand her tears.

He was, therefore, mildly startled as he heard the orchestra start to play the most unmistakable theme of all time, he became giddy with excitement as he watched the logo appear on the wall:

STAR WARS

ESPISODE IV:

A NEW HOPE

He glanced quickly at his muggleborn friend, watching her grin at the logo faded and the plot begun to appear on the screen. He quickly looked for Ron as well, watching as the red headed pureblood stared at the screen with eyes wide with fright and wonder.

"Episode 4? Why not start at the beginning? Makes no sense!" he heard a mumble to his left and he risked a glance at the boy next to him.

"Shh! Episoe 4 it's where it all starts."

He didn't notice the other boy look at him weirdly, before he heard a whisper right next to his ear. "Makes no sense! If it's the first, why not start with Episode 1?"

"Because the author wanted so! It will make perfectly sense, just watch!"

And Theodore did, watching as some Princess Leia sent some machine and a human stuck in a bronze suit to find some Ben Kenobi, watched as Ben found some Luke Skywalker guy and they escaped in a flying ship with a pirate to rescue the princess...

He watched Potter's rumoured weapons appear on screen, watched the mock fight between Ben and the Dark Lord, often shooting glances at the green eyed boy next to him. He leaned closer to the boy, still staring at the screen.

"Did you at least demand the copyright of your life story from the author, Potter?"

"Wha...?" Harry glanced away from the screen, staring at the pureblood as if he had grown a second head and was singing the Hula with the Headmaster.

"It's obviously based on your life Potter! Surely you can see that!"

"Er... well..." He stared at the screen again, easily seeing the parallels between him and Luke Skywalker. Major differences included that his aunt and uncle were unfortunately still alive and his mentor was not dead.

"I mean, the mentor, the sudden trio, the escapades, hell even the Dark Lord sounded like this Vader person!"

Harry stared at the screen in horror, having a sudden epiphany. He hastily got up, the chair making a loud screech noise in the quiet room. Most stopped looking at the film, staring at Harry as if he had gone insane again.

"Mr. Potter?"

"I...I've...go... I've gotta go professor!"

"Go? Where to?" The woman asked, confused.

"The hospital wing, have to get a blood test!" And he ran off, calling "Madam Pomphrey!" at the top of his lungs followed by the desperate shouts of "He can't be my father! He can't!"

Hermione slowly turned to the pureblood, amusement lighting up her eyes.

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing much... just asked him if he demanded copyrights from the author of the film." Nott replied, thoroughly confused.

And Hermione couldn't help it. She started to laugh.

**Next prompt:** A trip to McDonnald's!

Remember! Send a pairing and a muggle prompt!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Sorry! I think I didn't explain myself all that well (lack of sleep and all that) The people you choose in the prompt won't be an actual slash/het/femslash pairing, it will just be the focus of that chapter, like Harry and Theo were in the first chapter and now with Draco and Seamus.

**Title:** The Compulsory Muggle Studies Class

**Chapter:** 02 – The Weasley Invasion!

**Warnings:** Some slash, some femslash, some disturbing content due to a fertile mind.

**Summary:** Voldemort's dead and now every magical child not raised by a muggle or with muggle roots has to attend the Muggle Studies Class. Hermione, following by a weird sense of duty, enrols both herself, Ron and Harry in those classes.

**The Weasley Invasion! (Draco and Seamus)**

**Asked by Rye**

It was the first trip to the muggle world, it wasn't somewhere large (like London) neither was it somewhere totally isolated, it was a town at the south-west of England and the fifth year students were there to have lunch, but not just any lunch. A typical muggle lunch for teenagers, and while most purebloods entertained the idea of a fancy restaurant with staff waiting and heavenly scents, the muggleborns and muggle raised knew it could only mean one of two options:

McDonald's or Burger King.

Harry, Hermione and Seamus Finnigan led the purebloods to the establishment they immediately recognised as the Land of Ronald McDonald. Harry and Seamus grinned at each other, before the Irish half-blood ran to the door, rushing inside and already starting to ask for a Big Mac when Professor McGonagall shouted after him.

"Mr. Finnigan! Get back here this instant! You're not a hooligan!" The transfiguration professor admonished, glaring at her Gryffindor.

She had been chosen to accompany Professor Burbage in that trip and anyone looking at her face could tell she was not a happy cookie at the moment.

They walked inside the restaurant, the purebloods looking around them with dawning horror as they looked at the muggles around them, getting trays with something inside wrapped paper, a huge cup of something or other, some fries and red and yellow stuff, all trays were covered with a paper of a red headed man with a war painted face smiling, behind him a purple glob, a harpie and a thief. They had to be in the wrong place, they had to!

Seamus watched as Harry and Hermione dragged Ron, Neville, Nott and Goldstein to a corner to explain about muggle money, he looked around for his own partners and found Malfoy and Crabbe already at the register, yelling at the woman.

"What do you mean you don't take my money! Do you know who I am?" the blond shouted, getting the attention of most of the seating people and glares from the ones in line.

"Sir, we're n-not all-allowed to take..."

"I don't care what you're allowed to do or not! You've got to take my money!" the blond shouted, Parkinson muttering about simpletons and muggles behind him.

Seamus approached with a heavy sigh, grabbing the blond by the biceps and dragging him away from the crowd, sheepishly saying sorry to the cashier.

"Sorry about him, mental illness, he's harmless though, just sort of unstable!" he grinned at her, before pushing the blond in front of him.

"Idiot woman, what do you mean they won't take my money!" He growled, just loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear. Seamus just rolled his eyed, opening his mouth to berate the young man when a voice beat him to it.

"Draco," Theodore Nott said, passing by them as he went to wait in line for his turn. "Behave!"

The platinum blond just glared at the brunette before staring at Seamus. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go get me some food! Some edible food!" he sneered.

Seamus just rolled his eyes, before staring at Malfoy again. "Grow up you prat! What sort of money did you bring?"

"What do you mean what sort of money, real money you prat!" he sneered again, pulling out of his pocket a handful of galleons and sickles.

Seamus felt like hitting him.

"No you bloody idiot! The Professor asked for muggle money! Muggle! Paper-money! Not bloody gold coins! How thick can you be?" The Irish groaned, picking up a galleon. "Just one of these would be enough to buy lunch to everyone in the place, muggles, wizards and even the odd bug or two," he shook his head, glaring at the blond before stalking off to Harry and Hermione. He found them ordering already, the pureblood company staring at the trays with a mix of dread and curiosity.

"Hey Harry!" Seamus called, getting a polite smile and an inquiring look in return. "Do you have any spare money? Malfoy brought only galleons!" He rolled his eyes, his hands inside his pockets.

"He did? Figures..." Hermione whispered, getting some pound notes and handing it to Seamus. Watching in amusement as the Irish boy stalked back to his company.

"Here you git!" He scowled at the blond, handing the notes and quickly explaining how they worked to the blond before shoving him in the direction of the register. "Order me some Crispy Chicken will ya?" He yelled, trying to find a seat near the front to see the show.

He wasn't disappointed. Malfoy screamed and shouted and hissed and he thrust the money at the lady.

Pretending not to see McGonagall staring disapprovingly at him, he continued to snicker, continuing until he had a stitch on his side and Malfoy was walking up to him, his tray in front of him and a glare on his face.

"Think it's funny, do you?" Draco sneered, banging the tray with more force than necessary. Unfortunately – for Draco Malfoy – as he banged the tray, the cup topped to the side, showing up a picture of the red headed man.

The Malfoy spawn stared at it for a second before slowly turning to the only other redhead in his class... Ronald Weasley.

"They're procreating!" He whispered, eyes wide as he stared at the seemingly innocent redhead. He had known that Weasleys were evil! But no one had listened to him... no one! It was nothing short of unnatural to have that many children!

Unfortunately for Draco, Seamus heard the comment and, thinking of doing one his friends a favour, he leaned forward pretending to mop away the juice – figures a Malfoy would ask for juice instead of soda!

"Sometimes I think the Weasleys are taking over the world." Seamus muttered, seemingly to himself. That simple sentence was enough to halt whatever Malfoy was about to say or do...

"Taking over the world?" Draco hissed at the half-blood, eyes wide.

"Yes... first with their multiplying tactics, I mean -"

"What multiplying tactics?" Draco hissed again, eyed even wider than before, a hysterical note entering his voice.

"Well... you didn't really think all those redheads were actually Mr. and Mrs. Weasley children, did you? You can't have that many children, it's just not possible! I found this out from Ron actually, promise you won't say anything?" Seamus asked, and if Draco had been paying attention, he would have noticed the unholy glint of mischief in Seamus' eyes.

"I promise!"

"Well... Mr. Weasley's father started this restaurant chain a while ago, nothing fancy, as you can see. Hamburgers, fries, soda, juice and ice-cream. But that's not all... he put a glamoured picture of one of his forefathers, the man was a Charms Master and a Potions Master you see and he did a few alterations on his own image. Anyone who spent a lot of time looking would get the urge to become a Weasley!"

"No! You're kidding, right?"

"'Course I'm not! Now shut up and let me finish!" Seamus grumbled, wondering just how naïve Malfoy was. Potion Master? A Weasley? More like pranking Masters! "Not only did he charm the pictures," he continued, "but he also put a potion on the food. The more you eat it, the more like a Weasley you become. First come the freckles, then the skin starts to lighten up and easy to get a sunburn, then the voice changes and finally... the hair!" Seamus had to force himself not to snicker at Malfoy's horrified face.

For a person who spewed the pureblood propaganda left and right, and who firmly believed himself to be superior to everyone else, Draco Malfoy was surprisingly naïve.

"It's a gradual thing, so no one will notice it. But it happens... just look at the Weasleys! Five out of their seven children are not their children at all! They are, in fact, missing member of society! They were changed! And that's not all... they multiply themselves, sure but after that... after that they get that urge to live as Weasleys do."

"As Weasleys do?" Draco whispered, face ashen with fear. "You mean... struggling to make ends meat, poverty, second-hand clothes, and that-that cheerfulness, a-and the multitude of children?"

Seamus Finnigan blinked, who knew Malfoy had such an over-active imagination? Ah well...

"That's exactly it! You become one of them... just one bite and the process can begin. And you'll become infected."

"But... but everyone's eating and drinking!" Draco cried, hastily getting up from his chair, "and you too Finnigan! You're eating too! Stop it! I don't want to live in a world full of Weasleys! Stop it!" He cried, throwing his tray on the floor, and proceeding to wreak havoc in the restaurant, turning trays, throwing drinks and food on the floor.

"Cor! What did you say to him?" Seamus grinned as heard Ron's voice, getting yet another idea to prank the blond git, "oi! Do us a favour, give your hamburger to Malfoy and ask him if he doesn't feel like eating."

"B-but... why would I do that?" Ron asked, holding his own half-eaten Big Mac close.

"Just do it! I want to see the git's reaction!"

"Fine! But you'll be paying me another one!" Ron grumbled, picking up his sandwich and walking up to Malfoy.

"Oi! Malfoy!" Ron shouted, getting the blond's attention.

Draco slowly turned around, turning even more pale at the sight of the youngest son of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, "get away from me!"

"Huh? B-but... don't you wanna eat something?" Ron asked, offering the sandwich to his fellow students.

And then wincing as Malfoy started to rave and shout about a 'Weasley invasion.' He looked back at Seamus, waiting for an explanation, but Ron could only shook his head as he saw Seamus talking to the manager. He was dimly aware of the Professors trying to calm down Malfoy without resorting to using magic in front of muggles.

"I'm so, so sorry, Mr. Noel. He's mentally unstable, you see, and he hasn't had his medication yet."

**Years later, during the Defence Against the Dark Arts NEWT's**

"Wonderful Mr. Malfoy! Now for the last test, it should be easy enough for you." The man smiled kindly, putting a closed chest in front of the blond. With a fond smile, the man opened the chest and it was all quiet for a moment before a red-headed man appeared in front of him, his clothes a bright yellow with stripped sleeved and bright red shoes.

He slowly turned to Draco, his face breaking in a kind smile as he slowly advanced on the boy.

Throughout the castle, from the lowest level of the dungeons to the highest part of the Astronomy Tower, the girlish scream of one Draco Malfoy could be heard.


End file.
